Thanks to Kelly Erickson for the first one, Bill Clinton for the second - not sure where we first encountered the others



Pigs on competence and training

Never try to teach a pig to sing - it wastes your time and annoys the pig



Pigs on subterfuge and spin

You can put wings on a pig, but that don't make it an eagle




Pigs on auditing

Arguing with an auditor is like mud-wrestling with a pig. Pointless and half-way through you notice the pig is enjoying it



Pigs on performance measurement

You can't fatten a pig by weighing it




May the pig be with you ...