Thanks to Kelly Erickson for the first one, Bill Clinton for the second – not sure where we first encountered the others

Pigs on competence and training

Never try to teach a pig to sing – it wastes your time and annoys the pig

Pigs on subterfuge and spin

You can put wings on a pig, but that don’t make it an eagle

Pigs on auditing

Arguing with an auditor is like mud-wrestling with a pig. Pointless and half-way through you notice the pig is enjoying it

Pigs on performance measurement
You can’t fatten a pig by weighing it

May the pig be with you …